Wounded Children
Wounded children live in the world around.
They beat, they break and they bully.
They hide what they’re feeling truly
And put on a mask of cold and unruly.
Their wounds are deep, they erase their memos
Of what has gone and what once hurt them.
The wounds haven’t healed, the skin’s mortifying,
Their pain is bleeding on aching bodies.
The body remembers! It cannot be deceived!
No matter how much money you put into it!
Massage and Relax are so evanescent.
Remember your drama to learn your lesson!
Years fly by, but we hide it all
We put on a smile and let the youth go.
We can’t help but mature, get old,
But sadness and pain will forever stand tall.
What do I see in my mirror reflection?
The truth of the pain that I never mentioned.
Have I let go of all recollections
Keeping in all my pain and afflictions.
My children must see that pain is an option.
And that you can beat pain with the sense of devotion.
I won’t be afraid to talk my trauma over.
Open up, make this truth your own walkover!
Trauma
I met her in my carefree childhood.
Others find her a little later.
A stunning lady crosses everyone’s path,
Calls for attention and a bit of our love.
She shakes our minds like a flash,
Taking various shapes in our living space.
Now people represent her usual thrust,
Then acts and events draw her endless lust.
Her faces and roles are very specific.
They cause only pain, and the end is horrific.
This broken queen is almost dreaming
To merge with the soul and stay there forever.
Changes, catastrophes and spiritual losses
Reflect its importance and her powerful potence.
Her adaptive care is no exception,
It makes a person minimize their existence.
But each of us has a different attitude
To her invasion and excessive anxiety.
Now we hide from the human society.
Then we get naked, tattooing our body.
Darkness and pain scare us in the world,
We close our eyes and immerse in our mind.
It is hard for one, on the planet so wide,
Trust their soul and the feelings inside.
Oh, my fatal trauma, accept my thanks
For the truth revealed inside my head.
To my personal growth you have showed me path,
You draw your strength from the place it all starts.
Our trauma, our favorite mental game,
It pushes us along the way.
Are you still afraid of yourself, like you used to?
My reader, the artist of what’s there in you.
People…
In real life, everyone is different
We wear no filters or masks, just our wrinkles.
We cannot retouch what we don’t like
And always show only the good side.
Face to face, we’re perfectly open
With all our pores, big and small curves.
The earthly human is far from a robot!
And only illusions can calm our nerves.
A living being of our sapient body,
In the symmetrical plane of e-format,
Broadcasts our suffering in all its doubt
Living real life in an illusory moment.
Sooner or later, we will be beyond
All the limits and things separating us from reality.
We will gaze into someone’s eyes,
Loving ourselves in them and trusting with heart.
ACoA
Step by step, success by success
I build an illusion of would-be stems.
I weave a nest from my warming memories,
Comforting a lonely girl living deep in me.
The house from my dreams turned out to be empty
For I designed it with no windows or entries.
People saw me completely broken
From the pain of my childhood losses.
But someone from the crowd, slowly and quietly,
Offered me a hand with words of support.
Tight hugs of this beautiful woman
Protected me from critics of the world.
It took me so long to open my eyes
And look around with no feeling of shame.
I found it easier to confess and speak out:
“I’m scared alone! I need some help!”
Image after image, there were years of my life,
Spent in search of pieces of my shattered soul.
All new stories brought me closer to others,
Flashing on my subconsciousness corners.
But one fine moment, all around me stopped
And I froze startled, exploring my space.
The courageous woman with caring hands
Turned out to be me as my inner parent.
My childhood dream to make a difference
Came true and embodied, so vigorous!
Henceforth I’m a happy child of a loving parent,
Ready to be protected from the world out there!
Breakup…
In one hand, I hold a sharpened knife
Anticipating punishment for the broken borders.
And in the other – gifts for a cruel crowd,
Ready to tear apart for natural endowment.
I stand alone amid the pack, so hateful
For the life’s injustice over their selfhood.
I’m trying to survive among the closest strangers —
People who expelled my childhood from recollections.
My self, so grown-up from my childhood
Is shaking with fear and feeling of closeness.
Anxiety covers my little child, cornered,
Defending its words before the universe.
Again and again, I cover my face
From attacks and blows to my soul.
I scream, I beg: “Please! That’s enough!
I cannot resist the pain anymore!”
Yet looking back far in the past,
I observe the mechanisms of today.
And everyone in my inner circle
Makes me afraid to be punished again.
I’ll run away again into illusive reality,
Creating codependency, so blindly.
And again, I will drown in a painful fiction,
Showing off my courage, being self-sufficient.
Soon, I’ll have to turn over a ten
And open my gift wrapped by my years.
In wrappers, I’ll find a woman, beaten by time
Who was lost as a kid in all that was mine.
It’s time to sort what’s mine from what’s theirs,
World perception passed on by generation.
The cruelty of my kind towards themselves
Forced my breakup with my body’s presets.
From now on, I set the pack of wolves free,
It tears to pieces my feminine dream.
Even if I will be completely alone,
Devotion will be the reward from my soul.
Farewell father, the artist of my childhood!
And the memories that polished my sexual femininity!
I part with you for an endless eternity,
Drowning my soul in my beloved physicality!
A Special One❤️🩹
With painful soul and with numerous traumas,
I see in the mirror a freak, all scratched and cut.
Mental wounds are tattooed on the body like signs
Of my dream to be like everyone else, not apart.
But year after year, the coward worldly race
Proves my difference in primitive ways.
Dictates the rules with bounding ranges
Only in natural ways for the new generations.
Now I will wander aloof, day by day
Searching my pack and true home to stay,
Where walls will accept me, with kindness,
My soul and my inner abandoned child.
Ever since, lonely, I exist in my pain,
Day after day, seeing no end.
And no one in this world can heal my illness —
For once, let down by love and left in weakness.
Even if my earthly path passes in a quest,
Piece by piece, I gather my shredded gist.
I still believe in true love inside
Of a special person who accepted my kind!
Person of the World 🌍
I’m partly Spanish with a friendly filling
Soaked in syrup of Russian generosity.
I’m smeared to the skin with Armenian obedience
And decorated with the nature of Georgia.
I’m sujuk, basturma, pita bread, baklava,
I am borscht with turon, blini, satsebeli.
I am a mixture of worlds, opposite sides,
That gave me a gift of respecting my freedom!
I was born outside of human divisions
That teach us to judge, disapprove, disagree.
I’m a person who was pulled up by the roots
And who found home all over the planet!
God Is Me!
Who are you, my God, creator of my world?
A soul saver, just like me?
Loving all but despising yourself
For the fear to see your shrine from within?
Who are you father – my heavenly guard
Who makes all inept people quarrel and fight?
I wonder, how can you exist in the realm
Where you let the devil himself overwhelm?
Lord, I do know that you are my me!
And my soul exists thanks to thee!
With every person and new generation,
I learn to evolve and choose education.
Who are you soul – extension of God,
Losing yourself in what you are taught?
Who are you now, after millennia,
After choosing a new, liberated lot?
I create my sublunary history,
I trampled my way through woods, full of mystery.
Unseen by the matter, alive to the bone
Creating my core with my mind alone!
Rainbow Flag 🏳️🌈❤️🌞
I’m exhausted of feeling rejected,
Killing God’s love I am filled with.
Straight off, I’m ready to speak out loud
Without waiting to become uncared about.
I’m a living being that transcends the norms
Established out of fear imposed by someone.
It’s been hard to live with my folks,
Hiding myself behind numerous social masks.
A person born with the name Shushanik
Has been locked in a crypt by her habits.
But Lily the Witch screams her thoughts out loud:
“We are all born only to know what’s within!”
Who am I in the flesh in my mental body,
Only the soul can tell it in sexual fusion.
No need to feel shame about our wounded bodies,
Loved by our traumatized souls.
My inner God in a material body,
It’s time to show the world my true love!
“It does not matter how I look in this world!
Every love is the personification of my God!”
Forgive Me…
“Forgive me, I’m sorry”, I often repeat
For everything that I do and mean.
I make excuses, I explain what I thought,
Trying to hide from people’s harsh words.
I’m ready to kneel before them all,
Including God who created my soul.
I’m trying to justify my lifetime bonus —
A priceless gift that I did not pray for.
But each word of forgiveness and sorry
Is needed for my precious soul.
Hear my world in the endless void
Of my heart’s prayer to be let go.
There are no real judges, defenders, accusers!
Only me, who thought that I lived so frivolous.
I forgave myself waiting for justice
Hoping for the love of the Almighty!
Dad And My Past
It is hard to accept that you’re not here!
Neither is the story in which you knew me!
It’s hard to wake up realizing my newness —
I have no more past or childhood stories.
I feel lost and out of control
Of my memories and feelings untold.
I want to give myself one last time
And let go of my childhood and hugs lost.
I know, father, I won’t bring you back
To the time we built it all, brick by brick.
But I will remember your words in the end:
“My dear daughter, you always do such good job!”
From my soul, tears will constantly drop
Grieving over the time, unable to stop.
I will gladly accept every process in life
Prepared for me to become independent.
Dear dad, forgive me my hopes
To stay near as far as it goes.
And again, forgive my idealization
Of what is Divine in the world of creation.
We are all living beings, and our life is a gift,
No one has the chance to correct what’s been done.
Farewell, my dad, the one with true, real soul,
Who taught me to love and let go of my start🙏🏻
Beyond
It’s easy to play when you’re just a pawn.
With a free square ahead, moving there on your own.
A whole army follows simple rules
Clearing the domain of royal rooms.
They sharpened their blades and cleaned muzzles.
The game begins in our lifetime puzzle.
For freedom and equality of individuals,
Living in a world of subdued ideas.
The soul of the war propels the player,
War for the right to achieve desired.
Getting over the changes and hindrances,
Alter the course of the game and your own mind.
But the one who goes forward will meet on the way
All the losses and figures living at bay.
Pain and sadness will up fill their gut,
Distorting the memories inside their heart.
Who are you now, who were just a pawn?
A knight? A bishop? Or maybe a queen?
No more fighting for others, you’ll decide on your own
Who will stay on the chessboard to win.
A wounded player is a good piece on the board,
It changed the course of the game and positions.
A person who knows how to play in this world,
Taking the role of the one making difference.
The box is now packed with all its pieces,
And a lifetime lived between two players.
No doubts, it was a wonderful game
That left us with memories of feelings.
Only after the game, you realize,
Having become the main piece,
Beyond someone’s life spent in vain
It’s easy to judge when you’re out of play!
Who Am I?
Who am I?
Just a particle in the universe!
A little light among planets!
Just a part of big bang!
A part of the earthly living!
Who am I?
I am faith, vital like air!
I am a house, sturdy like earth!
I am the burning love inside the fire!
I am water, plain and pure!
Who am I?
Just a contact between the two worlds!
Just a flash in somebody’s life!
Just one piece of a big puzzle!
Just a part of a bigger plan!
Who am I? Nothing… Or maybe I’m ALL…
Armenia
I am so much like my nation!
Like my ancestry tradition!
For my last name is my genes
Thousand years inside my veins.
I’m just like her, strong and gorgeous,
I welcome all, for it’s my purpose.
An eager learner, bold and ready,
My memory is strong and steady.
Armenia, she’s small like me.
We’re wise, unique, strong-willed and free.
My head inclined, throughout the time,
I do my best for peace through rhyme.
Armenia, just shine, you worth it
Protect yourself and future offspring,
Keeping your peace throughout the years.
The world will change, bud god will bless you.
I know one thing, Armenia dear!
I can’t perceive your whole oblivion.
My native land — it’s so obscure
You never made me feel secure.
I’m only human, part of whole
And mere chances of the world.
I let you go, so please release me
Your kid, in search of love to live in.
My jigsaw life, I’m born Armenian,
But for that place, I’m just an alien.
I’m just reflecting on my family tree.
And see — my father chose to make us free.
Forgive me, nation, I’m a simple creature,
Who never learned the patriots’ feelings.
Where is my home? I do not know.
But on my way, I’ve loved them all.